A few things I will NOT do!

Midwives do not:

Midwives do not tell you where and how to have your baby
Midwives do not force decisions on you.  You decide what is best for you and your family.
Midwives do not perform surgical births
Midwives do not restrict your movements while you are in labor
Midwives do not perform episiotomy unless the baby is in serious distress
Midwives do not take your baby away from you after the birth
Midwives do not abandon you after the birth with no follow up care
Midwives do not give your baby bottles of sugar water or formula