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The Journey Pt 1

By Stephanie Coleman

  Editors note:  Due to the length of Stephanie's birth story I have had to put it in four installment to ensure that the file will not be too large to download for some of our visitors.  There are links to the left of the page to lead you to the next part of Stephanie's birth story.  I apologize if this is an inconvenience.

            I did it!  Just writing those words, I get chills down my spine.  I have read numerous testimonials of women having a successful VBAC during the past few months of my pregnancy, but I am still in a state of awe and disbelief that I am one of those women!  I gave birth naturally, in awareness, and at home!  What a journey I have been on in the past few months!  Birth is most definitely a journey.  There is no better way to describe it.

            We became pregnant with our second baby when Hanna was barely seven months old.  I think deep inside me, I wanted to have another baby so quickly because I felt I needed to “fix” whatever had gone ”wrong” with the first birth.  Hannah was born by Cesarean Section due to my severe case of pre-eclampsia.  She weighed 3lbs. 8 oz. And was 17 ½ inches long.  My tiny beautiful preemie.  She was born in a community hospital, so she was transferred to another hospital where she could be cared for in the N.I.C.U. (neonatal intensive care unit) I was too sick to go anywhere so I stayed behind.  I didn’t get to see or hold my precious baby for three days!  I still cry when I think of how long it was before I was able to hold her.  My arms ached for her and to this day, I feel as if I missed out on something important in her life.  I believe I still try to make up for that all the time.  Breastfeeding her was a rough, rocky start.  After eight long weeks, I was finally breastfeeding her exclusively! No more breast pump, bottles, or breast infections!  I felt as if I was doing something to help her in a way no one else could!  I wasn’t failing her again.  I know my C-section was necessary for my life and the life of my baby, but for days and weeks after the c-section, I felt as if my body had failed.  I was too sick to carry a baby to term.  I couldn’t have a baby normally.  The doctor explained that my body was allergic to my husband’s genes and so it was fighting off my baby by giving me pre-eclampsia.  I worried about the other babies I so desperately wanted.  Maybe I shouldn’t have any more babies?  When Hannah was seven months old we became pregnant again.  A part of me believed that this time I would do everything right.  I had to.  I had to make up for my “mistakes” the first time.

            When I went to see my OB for our first prenatal visit with our second pregnancy she suggested I try for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) She said it would be tough but she would allow me a “trial of labor”.  It had never occurred tome that I would have to choose a “method of delivery”.  She had me sign a VBAC consent form.  That was the first time I ever heard of a “uterine rupture” or “scar separation”.  Over the next few months, I continued my prenatal visits.  My OB considered me a “super high risk” case because I was pregnant again so quickly, I had a previous Cesarean, previous pre-eclampsia, and I had a genetic disorder called Phenylketonura {PKU}.  My P.K.U. was managed with a low phenylalanine diet and would cause no serious harm to my unborn baby as long as I continued that diet throughout pregnancy.  When I asked her what I could do to prevent pre-eclampsia this time around, she said there was nothing I could do.  My chances of developing this disease again were 10%.  She told me that I had a very high chance of my uterus rupturing because of my pregnancies being so close together.  This was a subject we talked about at every visit.  I was very uneasy about my scar.  What if it wasn’t completely healed?

            When I was five months along, I had my last prenatal visit with my OB.  We were relocating to the state of Texas because my husband had a career change.  As I was leaving her office that day she told me that a new report had come out in the New England Journal of Medicine about VBAC and said that if your pregnancies are less than eighteen months apart, it was too dangerous to have a VBAC.  A scheduled repeat C-section was necessary.  My OB told me my uterine scar most likely wasn’t healed all the way and with the extra stress of another pregnancy, I would be lucky to make it to term.  “Better sage than sorry, Stephanie” she told me.  “Go for the repeat C-section.  The recovery is tough but you can do it.  C-sections are so safe nowadays.  You can have five or six C-sections if you want and you‘ll be fine.  Women do it all the time.”  I believed my OB.  “Ok,” I said.  I left her office feeling defeated and sad that I would never give birth normally. I remember also feeling a sense of relief at the same time.  How much easier it was to have someone else decide something for me.  After all, since toe doctor said so, then it must be gospel truth.  At least, that was what I believed at the time.  Wow!  What a major change of thinking I needed! {Little did I know the changes that awaited me in Texas}?

 The Journey pt2                                                            The Journey pt3                                                         The Journey pt4